The Proposal

        I do realize it's been a little while but I have a good excuse I promise. I'm not one to talk about relationships openly. I like to keep those things to myself for the most part. I would even go so far as to say I passionately hate all the attention Facebook status updates get, good or otherwise, when they deal with relationships. Many people just aren't good at offering the appropriate kind of sympathy for a breakup and I don't care to hear every couple announce to the world how much they like each other routinely three times a week. Not to mention when someone says the relationship is complicated. You're either dating or you're not and settling on that explanation tends to make me not want to associate with that person.
People like attention too much these days and when they lack talent or presence they resort to some pretty depressing ways to garner it.

        All that aside it can be uplifting and healthy to hear people's support for you during big changes in your life. Everyone needs a support group and mine is pretty spectacular (which is why I chose to involve those specific people in the more personal parts of my life in the first place).
Their advice is heart felt and blunt.
They don't make the situation about them.
They distract me when I need my mind off of something.
They listen patiently to me vent but keep me optimistic.
And they are happy when I'm happy.
It's obvious why they are my confidants because I know that they care and are trustworthy. I hope I fit that bill for others as I actively try to.

        There are some things that are forced to quickly shift from the realm of personal to public whether we like it or not. Take marriage for example (I'm getting married by the way). A huge part of the marriage ceremony is a welcoming of a newly formed family into the community. The community celebrates them and they become an integral part of it. Everyone is excited and everyone takes part. It's not something you can easily and shamelessly keep a secret from all those in your life. And as I promised years ago I wouldn't let the Internet know about every relationship I've been in but I would let them know when I was engaged. So- 
I'm engaged.

        The how we met story and the proposal story are very much involved with each other so lucky we can kill two birds with one stone here. Considering the fun I have creating these blog posts and the fact that she enjoys reading them I decided to make a Walgreens picture book similar to one of my posts that I could use to ask her. Much like me she doesn't like big productions involving lots of people and lots of eyes on her so an intimate idea made more sense. I also wanted to create something that told our story in a fun way she would like. Thinking I had a couple weeks I decided to write a poem outlining the important parts of our relationship with the pictures but after working on it a couple days she unconsciously dropped a three day deadline on me because her and her family were traveling down to Utah for a funeral. Against all odds the book was finished and I traveled up there to see everyone.

        Now I know what you're thinking. No, the plan was not to propose at her grandmother's funeral. My sense of humor isn't that morbid. As we are LDS the plan was to get married in the Bountiful Temple so I thought it would be fun to ask her there. It would also be a special place that I could talk her into visiting without arousing too much suspicion. Upon arriving there we found a private place and read the book together. It was a huge relief to finally put the ring on her finger and things couldn't have turned out more perfectly. I wanted her to know how important she is to me with something that she can read often as a reminder. The wedding cannot get here fast enough. She is a miracle and I love her dearly. I wish this happiness on everyone else who is still waiting to find their perfect complement. Understand that the patience will pay off. Below are some pages from the book but the quality of the copies are low which makes the poem a little hard to read. Each segment is included below the pages.
Don't laugh (or at least don't tell me you laughed, I wouldn't know otherwise).

For most of my life
I've had one main concern.
One thought that weighed on my mind.

One thought that dictated every move
and how I carefully spent all of my time.

A desire that's disguised as a great many things
and hides behind all aspiration.

It defines our success much better than grades,
or fame, money and station.

This success can bring us happiness
more than anything we own

and perhaps the most frustrating part
is we cannot find it alone.

For this reason we search and manage our lives
to find with whom we belong

Who will give us the chance
to have that success we've wanted for so long.

At a time when the search was weighing me down
and I decided to stop and rest
I met a girl who's potential was masked,
who's value I could not have guessed.

The one thing I thought
was I might regret
not staying in contact with her.

I asked for her number
as she walked out the door,
my desired outcome unsure.

I messaged her once,
she didn't reply.
I put it out of my mind.

Until contact restored
by a misplaced text
made me anxiously want
to rewind.

For weeks we conversed
solely through text
as I worked through the Halloween season.
Hoping that this was a worthy pursuit,
optimistic but keeping to reason.

She couldn't have guessed
that this prospect
with whom she would spend her days
would be a guy who dressed like a sociopath
and worked scaring kids in a maze.

When the job ended
my nights were freed up
I took courage to see her anew.

After dinners and gifts,
conversations and games,
she saw what this was turning into.


Then came the night she gave me a scare
when she said she wanted to talk.
Until she said she liked what this was
and I was Not on the chopping block.
So many things I see every day
remind me of that minute-
where she made it so clear her intention and fear
showing her heart was in it.


When I thought for sure she'd written me off
and she thought she'd come on too strong-
We were both relieved to uncover the truth
that the conclusions we drew were wrong.


I thought the first kiss might be better received
with Nutella smeared on my face.

and the fact that we've shared many more after that
makes me think this was probably the case.

To tell somebody that you love them a lot

is not uncomfortable, weird or taboo
but for me to tell someone
I was IN love with them
was scary, unnerving and new.
The end of relations with others were hard.
They brought sadness and injured my pride,
but I never suffered a broken heart
and this made me scared to confide.
There were no doubts, I knew how I felt,
I'd held my tongue long enough.
I didn't expect her to say it back at the time
but waiting to hear it was rough.
She waited until the new year dawned
and in her own special way
Made a list of ten reasons she loved me as well.
A gift I still have today.

Despite the hardship long distance creates
it made our goals apparent,
and her humble desire to be a missionary
made her character transparent.
She fits so well into my life
I see obvious, divine intervention.
I'm grateful for her every day that goes by,
a fact I should often mention.
Love at first sight would not describe
how this all began to transpire.
She ignited a spark instead of light
a raging, fairy tail fire.
Feelings once small augmented with time
steadily, constant and sure
into a deep and honest love-
genuine, strong and secure.
That's how I hope the future will be
forging bit by bit.
A tether to bind us faithfully
and never let us quit.
As we build a future and depend on each other
to conquer pain and strife.
To this wonderful girl I offer all of my Love
Loyalty and Life.