Good conversation #1

                 

        A short while ago our family was rewarded with the long anticipated arrival of my younger brother who returned after 2 years of missionary service in Peru. I did my best to operate the camera at the airport considering my foot and captured minute after exciting minute of hunting down luggage. Its good to have the guy around again. His is a sense of humor we have been missing. A sense of humor that just the other day reminded me of one of my many faults.

        I have a couple regrets that relate to my poor record keeping skills. This includes receipts and expenditures for taxes, people who owe me money or favors and, most importantly, quotes and conversations I've had with my quick witted comrades. There have been so many things said that deserve a special place in our memories but instead have been thrown out to make room for trigonometric identities and chemical mechanisms. Likewise I have deleted many texting convos from my phone to make room for Pre-optometry society alerts and activity committee fiascos. I am trying to turn a new leaf by dumping banter on my blog. Here's one between me and my brother. If you don't enjoy reading it that's fine, it was never any of your business anyway.


Ethan: Question
Me: What kind of question?
Ethan: An intentionally unspecified one.
Me: Just one?
Ethan: Depends on your answer.
Me: So you are expecting an answer then and not a question.
Ethan: Honestly, I don't know what I'm expecting. I just know I'm expecting something.
Me: Well then prepare to be amazed by the most spectacular question ever posed to mankind and the
       like.
Ethan: What is it?
Me: "Why?"
Ethan: How do I answer that?
Me: How ever you want, use some artistic license.
Ethan: That's the thing. I'm searching for creativity.
Me: Like you googled it?
Ethan: ...no
Me: So where are you searching for it then?
Ethan: I'm trying to be creative searching for creativity.
Me: Well you're asking the wrong guy.
Ethan: How do you know? You don't even know what I'm looking for.
Me: Well I am the definition of a person void of creativity.
Ethan: I don't believe you and I don't even read the dictionary.
Me: Are you implying that I do read dictionaries?
Ethan: Read my words. I said 'I' twice! I only said 'you' once!
Me: You talk about yourself a lot.
Ethan: No I don't.
Me: Oh my mistake.
Ethan: I wouldn't have made that mistake. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Me: Not really. That's the kind of thing I would expect from someone like myself. You should lower your
       expectations
Ethan: I just expect what I'm told  to expect.
Me: Well expect rain. You might want to start carrying an umbrella around with you.
Ethan: Haha! Ha! Hohohmm. Give me a sec.
Me: I'll give you 2.
Ethan: Too much. I wouldn't know what to do with 2 secs.
Me: Understood.
Ethan: So take it back.
Me: I'll give it to someone who can use it.
Ethan: ...ya know what I kinda want it back.
Me: Too late, maybe next time.
Ethan: Hey! I need that second second! Give it back!
Me: Don't make this awkward for me. I can't ask for it back now. Not after seeing how excited they were.
Ethan: Who did you give it to??
Me: A group of Guatemalan refugees. They said they could hold 2 more jobs with a little extra time.
Ethan: Oh I like Guatamaltecos. They're really nice.
Me: Indeed.
Ethan: But I still want my sec back.
Me: I'll make note of it. When is your birthday again?
Ethan: I think It'll be next Thursday.
Me: Strange. Facebook normally tells me those sorts of things.
Ethan: Well I remember the president once told me that facebook is corrupt...maybe he's right.
Me: The only thing that Obama has ever been right about is that hamburgers are delicious.
Ethan: Well I wouldn't know. I don't taste.
Me: O ya. My bad.
Ethan: So I can't say that Obama was right about anything.
Me: Just hamburgers.
Ethan: I cannot testify to that. And remember that I don't believe you.
Me: I'll find a way to use that against you some day.
Ethan: Good luck...have you found an answer to my question yet?
Me: I don't recall you asking a question that I could respond to.
Ethan: I'll take that as a no.
Me: ...no.

Gotta Give Him Props

         Most stage-men and other entertainers have a profound understanding of the power of props. The idea began to make sense to me freshman year of high school when I found a sleigh bell in our junk drawer at home and stuck it in my pocket. It wasn't until PE class that I found a use for it. Most days after the jocks had their pick of the basketballs I was left to walk circles around the track with the Mexican kids and the druggies (That was about as physical as the physical education got at Mojave). I decided I would tie the bell to my shoe and see if eventually I would forget that it was there. It worked. After a while I couldn't hear it until some half-baked acquaintance would pull me aside to ask me if I was a reindeer.

         It wasn't long ago that I was strutting around with a surgical boot and cane which reminded me just how much people enjoy someone who advertises their individuality with things like walking aids. Regardless of the time or place random knickknacks make every experience better. My recent favorite is a birthday present I got from a friend many years ago and I just now decided to bring it along to college. Its an inflatable dragon pool toy that still remains nameless partly due to the fact that the girls I delegated the name finding to have been shirking their responsibilities- and also because the only names my roommates can come up with are associated with marijuana  Apparently Puff the Magic dragon's bad reputation has effectively dashed any hope of other dragons being able to live respectable lives. I hope you're happy Puff you magic turd.

         The more out of place it is the better. Nobody can appreciate 'He who has not been named' when he is quietly saving lives in an over sized bath tub but when hes my wing man at a social gathering he turns heads. Other wing men might potentially do more damage than good if they aren't quick witted but he will never say anything embarrassing and he legitimately has wings.

          Ice breakers and conversation starters like this make life simple the way cheesy pickup lines never could. People may think of props as social crutches but if crutches help you get around I see no problem with having a few of them. Not to mention its October again and its nice to have something to put between me and the zombies. Those jerks are always trying to get cheap makeup on my clothes.

        Don't worry. When we finally decide on a name for him you'll be the first to know -if not the eighth.