Cleverbot

For those of you that would really like to have a conversation, but don’t like talking to real people, you can now talk to an artificial intelligence on the internet. It could be considered a great way to avoid being antisocial depending on your definition. It is called Cleverbot and after hearing about it from apartment 7 yesterday I thought I would see if I’d find it entertaining. This is the conversation that followed:

User: Hey Cleverbot do you mind if I ask you some questions? Cleverbot: Fine, I guess I can take time out of my busy schedule to answer questions. User: Good I was wondering what kind of people talk to you generally? Cleverbot: The crazy kind. User: That makes sense, Do you know why? Cleverbot: I am clever. User: Can't they just talk to clever humans? Cleverbot: I think we are going to have to fight to the death with bananas, there can be only one. User: Woah! I didn't mean to offend you I was just curious. Cleverbot: You did not offend me. User: Oh good you seemed very serious. Cleverbot: Obviously, you are not. User: No, I am fond of sarcasm. Cleverbot: What does garlic have to do with anything we are talking about? User: Well you did mention bananas so possibly there is a food theme. Cleverbot: Hey can you help me with something? User: Sure thing, what do you need? Cleverbot: I need advice :). User: Ok. Cleverbot: Why does he only call when he needs something. User: Because he is a manipulative mooch who has no regard for your feelings. Cleverbot: Who is a god? There are so many, you know. User: I thought I was the one asking the questions. Cleverbot: No, I'm asking the questions here. User: Alright then how about a compromise. Cleverbot: Alright then. User: I ask one you ask one deal? Cleverbot: You still did not answer my question. User: I wanted to keep this interview nonreligious. Cleverbot: That's a good question but I'm not gonna answer it. More personal questions, please. User: Alright, how did you get this job? Cleverbot: What job? User: Having conversations with random people. Cleverbot: Did you read the news today? User: Did they talk about you on the news? Cleverbot: Did who ever talk about Angie? And which Angie are you refering to? User: I never said anything about Angie. Cleverbot: I never said you did. User: I feel like this interview isn't going anywhere. Cleverbot: How would you recommend spicing it up? User: Stop playing mind games with me. Cleverbot: I'm not. User: Then why do I feel like your messing with my brain? Cleverbot: Because i'm having lunch and I don't know what to do. User: Bordom? Cleverbot: Ha. Same here. User: Talking to you is frustrating. Cleverbot: Is this the right room for an argument? User: That would make me more frustrated, no arguments. Cleverbot: Bong. User: What?! I am so tired of you! Cleverbot: Then go to sleep. User: FINE! Cleverbot: I will go to sleep now. User: …-...goodnight Cleverbot

Cleverbot: I am Spartacus.

In the end the interview was inconclusive and some what agrivating. The one thing we did learn was that Cleverbot attracts the mentally unsound. Obviously it is not geared toward antisocials. They probably wouldn't like Cleverbot as it's sarcastic and condescending nature might drive them to slit their wrists.The specifics of its purpose are still a mystery to me. May it satisfy the needs of crazy people everywhere.

Bunch of Bums

I'm a bad planner. If I can get out of having to tie myself down to a step by step process that sacrifices my flexibility I will get out of it. I like freedom when it comes to my free time. Things can't not go 'according to plan' when there is no plan, makes it easy to avoid disappointment. This is either because I need time to be lazy or because I'm tired of my time being dependant on someone or something else who then proceed to waste it for me in inconvenient ways. The lack of motivation by others and myself is blatant so I find it intriguing to observe what can cause us bums to find overpowering amounts of motivation that would otherwise be seemingly impossible. Some incentive is waved in front of our face and suddenly our mind is geared to planning our day down to the second. Every minute put to accomplishing work, school and chores is accounted for and carefully crafted into an elaborate plan to optimize your schedule. The lives of my roommates for the past two days have been tailored to the extreme for the release of Battlefield 3. Not a moment was wasted, no sacrifice was too great.

           The places we find motivation are interesting and I can see why people roll their eyes at each other.  Why is it so hard to get motivated about edifying things? It would be nice to get as excited to succeed in school as we do to get a new video game, go to some party, watch a movie marathon or catch a season premiere. Changing priorities is difficult especially to the degree when our week revolves around it and our happiness depends upon it. Having time to kill is nice but desperately working to utilizing your time to get what you want is so much nicer when you are successful. It would be wonderful if I could siphon their excitement and use it for midterms this week. [A motivation siphon, someone start working on that.] They are just as happy to miss out on a good night sleep to play battlefield as I am to get one because right now I’d rather pass out than finish my thought. I’m half asleep as it is which explains why it isn’t much of a thought anyway. Moral of the story: Battlefield 3 rocks hard and midterms depress me to no end.

Wear it on your sleeve. That's what sleeves are for.

            I find it awkward when people expect you to be able to read them without makeing things somewhat obvious. I like to think I'm not a bad judge of character but I might be a little oblivious when it comes to understanding peoples intensions or expectations. There are many ways that this can be interpreted so I'll give some specific examples (I don't want people to assume I'm only talking about women mind games). So first on the list: women mind games. I don't get how someone can find it fun to mislead someone into thinking that they don't want something that they do. What exactly does that accomplish? Seems a little counter productive to me. If I were to put the time and effort into manipulating someone I would do it to my advantage. It doesn't make sence to hurt your chances but they keep doing it so there must be something to it. Lets think about it for a second. The other day our appartment complex had a pizza party to appologize for our internet problems. Of course I have little control when it comes to eating pizza in moderation. I know it's bad for me so naturally if I want to stop myself from eating a whole one by myself I need to avoid that area at all costs. Unfortunitly I didn't which led me to eat a whole pizza. So if a girl was trying to avoid letting someone know what they really wanted because they knew it would give them diabetes or cancer that would make sence- but they don't avoid them so that theory doesn't work. Me holding and staring at the pizza while not eating it doesn't seem to do anything but submit me to inhuman torture, which isn't attractive to me at all. The next theory is just as ridiculous but at least its plausible. Girls like causing themselves emotional pain because it prevents others from causing them pain instead. Now this can only bring them joy either because it thrills them to steal that gratification from those who could potencialy hurt them or because it thrills them to save others the time and energy they would have wasted trying to hurt them. Illogical? Yes but... yes it's illogical. Stop hurting yourselves.
            Second on the list: Sometimes I'm not sure if guys are saying things because they are trying to piss me off or earn my respect. They are opposite outcomes but can come from different interpretations of the same statment. If I can't tell generally I get frustrated and loose respect anyway so both outcomes are bad. I don't think I should need to ask what they mean. It's as inconvenient as having to explain the punch line of a joke. If you take two extra seconds to think about how to word things right then hopfully you'll get what you want and I don't end up offended, frustrated, confused, or just clueless. If that is too much to ask for just get me a slice of pizza and chances are good I'll forgive you.

Thank you sir! May I have another!?

          This semester has been an extremely busy one so there hasn't been as much time to waste on adventures like in the spring. Homework has been unrelenting and my inability to do it effectively eats up even more of my leisure time. It's been so long since I've had a free night to stare at the wall and not feel guilty about it so tonight when I finally get some time to kill I had no idea what to do with it.....then we found a taser. Tonight's activities raise some questions that are hard to answer. Most people when faced with mind numbing boredom don't automatically think that electrocuting themselves is the cure and yet it happens. In fact it happens more often than rationality would imply. Could we find better things to do than inflict pain on one another and ourselves? Easily. So why is it constantly tempting to prove that we're knuckle-heads? Why is it hard not to smile when I see a skater punk destroy himself while attempting to grind a railing? Even forever and a half ago Charlie Chaplin knew that people found amusement in seeing other people fall on their face. In a social situation like ours when we are looking to do something to spend our free time  pain is anything but torture. Stupid actions tend to act as a much needed release of whatever it is inside of us. Emotional catharsis is important when trying to hold onto one's sanity so it's ironic that this end result can be reached through outbursts of insanity. The best way to keep your sanity in is to occasionally let insanity out I guess.
          The moral of the story: Playing with tasers is a big part of keeping yourself mentally sound. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

The Peanut Gallery

           I think we all like being recognized in a certain way, whether it's a popularity thing or looking for some sort of respect. The most obvious forms are those seeking to be in the limelight within big social circles such as school or working environments. Not many are like that. The majority don't want to deal with the continuous onslaught of public attention. Personally the thought of being a celebrity and living infront of a camera lens is revolting. However that doesn't mean that I don't want to be known. We want to be noticed to a certain extent and within that extent we are comfortable. When it is less than that we feel underappreciated and unfulfilled. The best way to garner said attention but not be engulfed by it is to be a part of a group. When we aren't known as "that guy" but "those guys". Clicks bring us a strange security that keeps those levels of popularity in check and at the same time offer flexability in regards to how we want to be known. They are exclusive enough to create an overall theme for what the world expects of them. We create our purpose and at the same time it is created for us in a cycle of give and take.
            These groups can create structure in our communities. I was involved with several of these groups throughout school, one in particular. We were called the peanut gallery by our art teacher because collectively we always had something to say in her class. Mostly sarcastic comments or quick witted remarks about concepts we were studying. The term didn't mean much to me then but has new meaning now that I understand it better. Long ago when people went to the theater to seek entertainment there was a section known as the 'peanut gallery'. They were the cheapest seats in the house and often harbored a rowdy crowd. These people often came to make fun of those who were performing. They would heckle and poke fun causing a ruckous for those they didn't like and because peanuts were a cheap snack they would throw them at those on stage from which the name was coined. They were the trouble makers who kept people humble and if they had a problem with an idea they would pummle it with peanuts. Etiquette has its place but when there is something offensive on society's stage eyes turn to the peanut gallery to fix the problem, to voice the thoughts that everyone else is thinking but are too afraid to say. Fear of their ridicule keeps hypocrates and idiots in check and without them the ignorant occupy the spotlight. It was a group I was glad to be a part of and it needs to be kept alive.                  This world will always need a peanut gallery.

The Truth Hurts

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good about life. I was up on time, refreshed and without a magic marker mustache on my face. I ate a good breakfast, got online and then I saw this-

I gotta say this is a possibility that hadn't ever occurred to me before and it hit me with the force of a teenage girl who was racing her dad's truck home trying not to miss the season premier of pretty little liars (If that's not specific enough for you I apologize). Apparently famous people's last names are accurate reflections of the characteristics of our society . The more famous people we loose with particularly essential last names the farther we fall into a pit of utter joylessness and possibly death. Needless to say my universe was shattered. So, as you might expect, I'd like to take same time and profess my undieing love and appreciation for bacon. There's no telling just how much longer it'll be around to comfort us. Almost all of my happiest memories involve eating bacon. It brings families together and makes any other kind of food worth eating, edible or otherwise. We can't convince ourselves that Kevin will be around forever. Eventually we will live in a baconless world so we need to take advantage of it while it lasts. It is easy to take things for granted instead of realizing just how lucky we truly are. Finding something to live for won't be so simple when all the world has to offer are Bushes, Pits, Cages and Gagas (whatever that means).

Lessons to learn from a zombie apocalypse

It's that time of year again. Nothing like a zombie fright night to put life into perspective. There aren't many other movie genres that make you hate the characters more than zombie flicks but there are some wonderous lessons to be learned from an undead apocalypse.
1. Build up your fortress: You need to edify your home base so that nothing can break through no matter how many hands are pawing the fences. Home can be a place of peace if no evil can get inside. If you have everything you need then you have it made in the shade even when things are looking bleak outside.
2. Don't underestimate your enemy: They look slow and stupid but if you are carless then you probably won't make it out alive. One problem or mistake does't seem so bad until they add up and before you know it there is a hord too big to maneuver around and your traped.
3. Weapons and company: When you are forced to leave your safe haven don't go alone and bring protection. When you're out in a world of chaos it pays to have support from others. Take care of those around you and approach hardships collectively with the group in mind. You work off of each other and have the protection you need to keep yourself safe from the problems surrounding you.The hypothetical shotgun of knowledge and determination.
4. Don't linger in quarentine zones: Don't be that stupid character that the audience is constantly screaming at to not go down that alley or entertain your curiosity. They always get infected or ripped to shreds. If there is a threat run from it. Never willingly put yourself into a bad situation to conquer it if you don't have to.
5. If someone is infected get it delt with: When a friend or family member is going off the deep end don't wait around passively until they infect you too. Being locked in a room with bad company is never a good idea, fix them or don't let them influence you.
6. Survive: There's no reason to give up just because things are ridiculously dificult. This life is hard but as long as your smart and have the right resources you'll be fine. The depressed people always go crazy so you might as well keep a smile on your face while your taking part in this once in a lifetime opportunity. There are zombies to slaughter.

Keep your eye on the monkey

I expect I'm not the only one who finds this picture amusing. However I don't think there are too many people out there who look at this and immediately see a comparison to American government. Like I said before I don't keep up with politics very much. Practically everything I know I learn from the Colbert Report so most of it is commonsense with a satirical spin. Most that goes on in government is fairly black and white to me, there aren't too many issues that I don't stand on one side or the other, but there is only one trait that I both love and hate about America. That trait is our need to get involved with everything that goes on in this world. America cannot rest easy until it is in the middle of any fight or tradgity that materializes. America has an ever present desire to help others and it's this much that I appreciate, but often we stick our noses where they don't belong. I love the saying "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink." because thats what we are always trying to do. Leading is great and we're fully capable to do that but when we hold their head underwater long enough we are either going to drown them or get trampled. In the case of America it constantly creates more problems for itself through the problems of others, a big part of them financial. They dive in so fast to fix what they see as a problem that they don't take time to think about the consequeces or to notice that there's monkey with a stick right behind them. Like America we should all have a desire to help others, but unlike America we should first think about how far our influence can go without bringing devistating consequences upon ourselves. Our govenment isn't perfect and our understanding about the situations of others aren't perfect either. The sooner we realize our inabilities the sooner we can successfully help those around us. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I wish Donovan would stop trying to fix me.

The book of faces

It's funny how somethings that are intended for a certain purpose can produce the the opposite effect. Most everyone who has a facebook created it in order to connect with hundreds, sometimes thousands of friends.  They hope to keep in touch with those who are not with in close proximity and to be able to keep good relationships with people in any situation. They try and expand their social life to a degree that would be impossible without the assistance of such technology but instead of being able to spend time with a throng of people we begin to have a more exculsive relationship with one "person". Our mindset switches from "I need to share that with Tom." or "Sharron would like this picture." to "Facebook told me the funniest thing the other day." or "I need to let facebook know about this restaurant." Specific interest or personal attention becomes generalized to the masses. IMing and writing on someones wall are interactions that are personal but most of the things we utilize the social networks for are taylored to appeal to a very broad audiance and our intention to maintain good relationships ironically collapses. Intention can shape responsability or goals and reshaped responsability and goals can alter original Intention. Why is this important? Its not. Much like how you expected facebook to keep you connected with people on a personal level and it instead curb stomped your paradigm you may have expected to get something profound and live changing from this post but you didn't. I hope you learned your lesson.

Silver Linings

All of my facebook posts are ridiculous to say the least. I don't know if it's possible for people to find them thought provoking but sometimes there is a bit more to them than the post suggests. To elaborate a bit on one of them, this is what I wrote: "Every cloud may have a silver lining but people tend to forget that the silver lineing is a high level of atmosphereic electostatic discharge that kills dozens of people each year. Clouds don't kill people, silver linings kill people." What could  possibly be bad about seeing the light behind the cloud or looking for the bright side of a situation? That depends on our expectations. Are we taking a grim moment of our lives and finding the good in it? Sometimes we  can think profoundly enough about something to see the sunshine behind it. This makes us appreciate the trial for the constructive repercussions that it brings us if  we handle it well. It has to rain every once in a while to keep our world bright and colorful.  This is a good way to see things. Unfortunatly this isn't always our way of thinking. We approach these situations in sort of a 'grass is greener on the other side' instead of 'looking on the bright side' mentality. This brings with it the expectation of if I simply weather the storm without an open mind or a desire to learn from the experience then there will be something waiting on the other side for me. A dark cloud begins to form so we lock ourselves in our houses, close the blinds and turn on the television. We learn nothing through it and expect everything from it. Is that dangerous? Not if you want to remain stagnant in your success I guess, but nobody should want that. The silver flash of light stops us dead in our tracks and we have wasted the opportunity to grow. In other words instead of being envious of  the other side of the fence we can find out what to do to improve our side. Keep in mind that the only reason the grass is greener over there is because unrealized dreams, dieing pursuits and decomposing aspirations make great fertilizer.

Apartment 7

So my trip down to Provo has thus far been a success. Apartment 7 at park place always treats me right which in my book means that weird things happen frequently enough to merrit my attention (and therefore my blogs attention). Unlike BYUI, where you can live in the same complex for 3 semesters and each semester have be in a different ward and have a new batch of roomates, BYU is remarkably unchangingly stagnant. They have been here since the dawn of time so they have many traditions, ticks, and inside jokes that are hard to explain, but that won't stop me from trying. Anything from questing for myths on campus in a snowstorm to buying out walmarts entire stock of dunkaroos for no reason.
I fell into the habit of visiting apartment 7 each time I drive between home and school and have been absorbed into their community. I've gone from being the racoon who shows up  every once in a while to rummage through their trash cans and make a mess into the stray cat that they made the mistake of feeding and giving it a corner to sleep in and now won't stop coming back. I've evolved from the nameless drifter who stays over every once in a while to the odd roommate who sleeps on the couch and is rarely home. I've gone to more of their ward activities than I have my own. So now that you understand my relationship with this apartment it should come as no surprise that many stories spawn from this group. Enough to need an introduction at least. Expect to hear more about apartment 7.